Every year September brings about the opportunity for yet another transition in life. It’s our chance to take our kids (and ourselves) through another learning experience. With vacation ending and school beginning there comes the excitement of returning to school to experience a new teacher and to see friends. Our children love this idea. They love to return home and begin thinking about school. However, this transition from vacation to school also brings stress of timelines and tasks. The anticipation of getting back into the swing can fill us with dread. This time of year is an opportunity for parents to establish healthy routines and meaningful goals that will provide direction for the entire school year. Providing a little time upfront will save you hours later. Here are a few ideas that may help make the entire year meaningful and less stressful. One of the greatest gifts was can give our children is the feeling of accomplishment and self-sufficiency.
When a child knows he or she can take care of simple needs independently self-confidence is realized.
Here are a few tips:
- Set up a few goals and rewards for the year before school starts.
Setting some reasonable goals for the school year sets the tone and gives clear expectations that can lead to a successful academic year. We all work off of goals. Goal setting is an important skill that everyone should use. Goals could revolve around completing assignments and turning them in, getting ready for school on time, good reports on behavior at school, and getting to bed on time. Each family will have their own views on what is important; I suggest you meet as a family to work these out. I think it works well when all children in the family have their own unique list of goals. You might also have a goal related to all of the children being able to get along without fighting.
- Agree on a morning routine and afternoon routine before school starts.
Getting the day off to a good start can set the tone for the day for the whole family. It’s never a good to send a child to school that has been yelled at or has felt unsuccessful at home before coming to school. At a family meeting, discuss when everyone needs to be out the door. List all the things that need to take place to make this happen, then figure out how much time each task will take. From there, determine a schedule and what time each person needs to get out of bed. Once you have a plan, give it a dry run to see if it is workable. You could use a stopwatch to see if the goal can be met. Make any necessary adjustments and then post the schedule so everyone can see it. Consider a once–a–week family activity to celebrate if you are successful for a week. (If you are successful for a few weeks, you could space out the celebrations to once a month.) We do this in our home every year. By November, we don’t need the schedule or checklist because each child knows the routine and feels great about being able to get ready independently.
- Meet with your child’s teacher at the beginning of the new school year.
Make arrangements to meet with your child’s teacher as soon as possible. If your child has an IEP or a 504 plan then you can meet to discuss how you can best work with the teacher to implement the plan in their classroom. If the school is not aware of your child’s ADD or ADHD, just meet as an interested parent first. During the meeting, find out about any major projects or other assignments that are coming up during the year. Learn about the teacher’s expectation for homework. Find out how you can communicate with the teacher to keep track of completed and outstanding assignments. Showing that you are interested and want to play an active, supportive role can form a relationship that can help keep your child on track and make it easier to work out problems if the need arises.
- Be sure to schedule “fun time” with your child on a daily basis.
I know that parents are very busy and spend a lot of time helping and taking care of their children in addition to working and running a household. I know that some days you may feel depleted and/or defeated. From time to time your child most likely feels the same way.In my 20 years of working with children and families, I have learned one important fact about children; children need time from adults. When you give your child or teenager your time you invest in her future. Take 10-20 minutes a day to sit and listen to your child. Find out what your child likes as well as suggest new things they might come to enjoy as well.
The start of the school year doesn’t have to be a time of dread. Anxiety is our reaction to fear. In this case there is the fear of the unknown (How will things go?) as well as a fear of the past (Will there be a repeat of previous school year experiences?). The best way to handle anxiety is to confront the fearful situation and develop a plan to handle it in a way that will result in a positive outcome. Then stick to the plan, revising it only if necessary. Teaching children to be good learners always starts in the home. Just remember that Rome wasn’t built in a day. Take time and have patience with each new skill.
Cheers!
Rienzi Haytasingh
